Love's Last Lie

I have had a funny feeling for a couple days now. I knew something had to happen...and I would have to make it happen. I needed one more push--one more splash of cold water in the face--to get there.

Michael was on call on Wednesday night and then I tried to get in touch with him yesterday (Thursday) via phone call and and literally about 40 text messages all to no avail. I went by his place and he was not there; he never came home all night. He didn't sleep there. He ran by this morning only to grab clothes and got to work late--after 8 am. These are facts that I know for sure.

I am now at the hospital where he works; he hates it when I come here. I wanted to give him the last stuff that I had for him...and say bye. Since he won't see me anywhere else--or return my calls.

I asked him where he was last night. "I was at home! I passed out for 16 hours straight. I had an awful call night. Three patients died."

"I'm sorry you had a bad night, Sweetie. But I know you weren't home. Can you just tell me where you were? Please."

"This is f---ing ridiculous! This is inappropriate. You cannot show up at work like this. I told you where I was. I was home! I have notes to write."

"I know. I just wanted to give you that stuff. I made you something...and say bye."

"I hope your intern year is awful! Because mine has been and you keep making it worse!"

"Those are your parting words to me? Well, I hope you are happy and you do well. I hope everything works out for you."

"I'll talk to you later. I'll see you later."

"No. You won't."

"Okay. If that's how you want it. Bye." We were talking in the stairwell outside of the ICU and he left me there without so much as a backwards glance.

He never told me where he was last night. He feels guilty about it whatever it is so deals with that by lying to me about it. Who am I kidding, he was probably with her again.

And this is the first time I'd seen him since Tuesday. He told me he wouldn't cut his hair because I like it longer. It was buzzed again.