Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Good Little Car

I made it back to Ohio in one piece. We ended up taking the red eye...and I think my eyes are true to form. Of course there were problems with my tickets, just like every time I've flown over the past few months. It will ba amazing if airlines get my tickets right at one point. For now I just pay the change fees and let out a big sigh. Oh well.

It is strange being back here. I left in such a hurry that I feel like I just snuck out the back door and didn't say anything to anyone. Part of me wanted to leave things like that. It is harder to say goodbyes in person. Just hard to say goodbyes period.

I had my last therapy and psychiatrist sessions here this afternoon. It would have been nice to be all better by the time these wrap up here, but no such luck. Today there were new things to talk about...and not nearly enough time to sort them out. So I guess I will be seeing someone in San Diego if I have the time.

Dr. L. has been great; he related to me on a personal note today which was sort of different...said that he reacts to things much the same way I have and that what I really needed to focus on was figuring out what I really wanted...not what was going to please or dissapoint someone else, but what I want deep down...for me. Easier said than done for someone who has spend a lifetime learning how to make other happy.

The session with Dr. D. started out fairly light (compared to other sessions at least) but got into me talking about my not thinking that I deserve somone who will treat me very well. Yeah, big problem, right...came out with about five minutes left to talk. He asked me if I thought anyone deserved what had happened to me. "No. I wouldn't wish this on anyone," I said. Then feeling like I have to compensate with the good parts of me for what I perceive as the bad parts. And that men just "put up" with me when they are with me and are really happier on their own. Ugh.

Anyway, graduation is on Sunday. Wow. I picked up my cap and gown today. Bright red. Have a ton of family coming in for the big day. Found out yesterday that I will be getting an award from the Ohio Council on Aging so that was a nice surprise. I have to work one more day tomorrow at the adolescent clinic. And hopefully will be able to finish up getting the credits for helping with Pop at home. Keep your fingers crossed. With the rest of my time, I have to pack, pack, pack. I'm only taking what will fit in my car. But can send some home on the plane with my family. That reminds me that I'd better get boxes while I'm out today. My car started right up after sitting for a month. I love my car. Pop wants to get me new tires for graduation so I will get those sometime this week, too...before the big trek across the country.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You deserve someone amazing who will treat you like the beautiful princess I know you are. I know that you will find that person even if you don't believe it yourself. You've had some (a lot) of selfish assholes who only care about themselves and are incapable of respecting you. As a result they tear you down and make you feel worthless when you should be seeing their that they are the problem, not you. No one should "put up" with you. That's crap and you should never stand for it. Don't forget what we talked about tonight. You know now how special and amazing you trully are and I will remind you every night from now till the end of time if needed. I'm making less sense as I fall asleep here but I just can;t wait to say that I Told You So. Night Princess. -Jason

11:59 PM, May 24, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home