"Men, women, or both?"
As we start new rotations each month my 160 classmates and I are continually shuffled and redistributed. Just as with any group, I know some better than others. Some are my close friends, some are acquaintances, others simply future colleagues. And, of course, some I like, some I tolerate. But by and large they are an interesting and diverse group.
This month I have once again started a new rotation and am working closely with two guys from my class. Both with whom I've known and been friendly, but neither have I really known well. Having plenty of down time between lectures and consults and residents running around, we often get a chance to chat and learn more about each other.
One of them, K.'s, wife just had their second baby boy and he's stressed out at home with all of the chaos of having a two year old plus a two month old. On the first day of the rotation I asked him if they were having more. He replied, "Not anytime soon. My kids are driving me crazy." He wants to wait at least three years before the next one comes.
I have been on rotations with him in the past. Actually on a rotation last year we were asked to write about what is important in life and how we want to be as future physicians. He wrote a very poignant story about having his first son and how holding him in his arms made everything feel somehow right and complete and precious. It was by far my favorite essay among the group of thirty because we could all tell how real and close it was for him.
Today he shared another piece of writing with me about his career choice and how his mom dying from multiple sclerosis during our second year affected him and his future. It almost made me cry right there in the computer lab.
It's really phenomenal how sharing this often grueling experience with those who are at first complete strangers can bond you in the way that soldiers must unite in the military or teammates come together on an especially intense sports team. I was sharing things with these 'strangers,' and they with me, with complete honesty and freedom.
Perhaps it is related to our training. People will, and have already, shared the most intimate details of their lives with us on the very first meeting. We nervously joked first year about having to gather the history, including sexual orientation and activity, but now it has become a more comfortable and vital part of knowing as complete a story as the patient is willing to share. "Men, women, or both?" our mentors taught us to ask. Assume nothing; accept everything, but trust no one; be sensitive to differences.
The sharing, after all, makes you feel so much less alone.
This month I have once again started a new rotation and am working closely with two guys from my class. Both with whom I've known and been friendly, but neither have I really known well. Having plenty of down time between lectures and consults and residents running around, we often get a chance to chat and learn more about each other.
One of them, K.'s, wife just had their second baby boy and he's stressed out at home with all of the chaos of having a two year old plus a two month old. On the first day of the rotation I asked him if they were having more. He replied, "Not anytime soon. My kids are driving me crazy." He wants to wait at least three years before the next one comes.
I have been on rotations with him in the past. Actually on a rotation last year we were asked to write about what is important in life and how we want to be as future physicians. He wrote a very poignant story about having his first son and how holding him in his arms made everything feel somehow right and complete and precious. It was by far my favorite essay among the group of thirty because we could all tell how real and close it was for him.
Today he shared another piece of writing with me about his career choice and how his mom dying from multiple sclerosis during our second year affected him and his future. It almost made me cry right there in the computer lab.
It's really phenomenal how sharing this often grueling experience with those who are at first complete strangers can bond you in the way that soldiers must unite in the military or teammates come together on an especially intense sports team. I was sharing things with these 'strangers,' and they with me, with complete honesty and freedom.
Perhaps it is related to our training. People will, and have already, shared the most intimate details of their lives with us on the very first meeting. We nervously joked first year about having to gather the history, including sexual orientation and activity, but now it has become a more comfortable and vital part of knowing as complete a story as the patient is willing to share. "Men, women, or both?" our mentors taught us to ask. Assume nothing; accept everything, but trust no one; be sensitive to differences.
The sharing, after all, makes you feel so much less alone.
posted by S. at 6:23 PM
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